Mistress is aggravated by the caliber of ghouls her associates keep around, and has instructed me to write this instructional guide to keep you lot in line. So here goes:
1) YOU ARE NOT A VAMPIRE! Not even close. You are human, kine, cattle. Good for nothing other than supplying your Master with blood. Worse, you are a DRAIN on your Masters time, and most importantly, blood. I am certain you understand that blood is life to your Master, so to keep you, your Master must give you a literal portion of HIS VERY LIFE! Act appropriately.
2)You Belong to you Master! Completely. A normal human might be able to insult your Master, but you cannot. His every slightest desire is your G-d demanded duty to fulfill. Even if that means your death.
3)Your Master is Responsible for your Actions! Other Vampires will treat anything you do as if your Master had done it Himself. This goes back to Rule #2. Act appropriately. If you insult another Vampire, your Master will have to answer to them, and then you will have to answer to your Master. Do not embarrass Them.
4)Do Nothing your Master Doesn't Tell you to! This goes back to Rules #2 and #3. You think it would be a great idea to kill that pesky detective who is looking into your Masters affairs, only to discover that too late that he is another of your Masters servants, or worse, the servant of someone your Master owes a favor to.
5)Be Discreet and Attentive! Most of what your Master wants you to do should be done without anyone knowing about it or needing to say anything. From simply pouring a cup for a guest to tearing out your daughters guts for your Masters entertainment, you should never need to be told twice, and should instantly perform whatever action is required.
6)Expect Nothing! Your Master does not need you. They will tell you what a "Good Boy" you are, and they DO NOT need to give you their blood. They can take it away at any time. If your Master chooses to let you drink from Them, or praise you for some triviality, make certain They understand exactly how grateful you are for the gift of Their attention.
7)Your Master DOES NOT Love You! Don't think that they do. You are being kept around because you provide some small utility to your Master, or entertainment, or They have a bet with another Vampire, or any other reason that you will probably never know.
8)Your Master is a Monster! All Vampires are. You won't know what triggers it, but one day, out of the blue, They will fly into a rage the likes of which you have never seen, and never will again. This may be throwing things around, tearing into anything with a heartbeat and drinking it dry (including you), or simply running away from something you will never know what was. When They are like this, you cannot stop Them. Whatever They want, They will get.
For those of you with a more educated mind, come to The Laughing Dusk and order a virgin mary everyday for a week. Greater instruction will follow.