There was a young vamp from Nantuckett
Who fed himself out of a bucket
As he drained each vic
The blood was so thick
He needed a vacuum to suck it

A vampire, so debonaire
Went hunting with nary a care
Van Helsing, he met
Much to his regret
For Abe lit him up like a flare

A Torrie named VV said all along
That to call her a mere stripper was wrong
Yet when she did her dance
Men felt tight in the pants
At the sight of her red teddy and thong

Here's an old one:

There was a young Vampire called Mabel
Whose periods were really quite stable
So every full moon
With the help of a spoon
She'd drink herself under the table


All together now... Eeeeww!!

Hey, about time someone commented on my limericks.